A "Very Special" Episode of My Blog

I sort of made a pact with myself that I wouldn't use this blog to talk about specific detailed updates and accounts of and on relationships that I may or may not be having. I want this to be a place where I could try and figure myself out, and hopefully find a kindred spirit or two out there by pontificating on my personal quirks and idiosynchracies.

Of course, because I just wrote that preface, you know I'm a little iffy about my adherence to that rule vis a vis the forthcoming post.

But don't worry, this isn't going to be a cryfest, what happened was actually a happy event.

Here we go with preamble #2...

I'm a long term relationship guy. I'm not really interested in spending time with, (and serious emotional currency on), someone unless I get to know them first, and if I like them as a friend, I can then make the decision that I want to (or not) take the next step; if I do, I'm in it for the long haul. When I say long haul, I mean that I can count all my relationships on one hand, from high school to now; and more than half of those relationships have been for 2 years or more.

This sounds all well and good right? I'm not afraid to commit, (but I kind of am... more on that some other time), but for a modern guy in the modern dating world, this is probably not the smartest idea, because I therefore have no "in-between game" where you can be friendly with someone, but still be "dating." I tend to skip that part and elongate the other parts, namely, the "tension-filled, before anything major has happened" phase and the "we spend so much time with each other it's enough to make others nauseous" phase.

Being with someone for several years, I obviously get very emotionally attached, and it's hard for me to really feel like I have a clean slate after a break-up. It takes me a long time before I stop thinking about an ex consciously; and I don't really ever forget anyone completely.

It's not like I wax nostalgic on all the good times, nor do I long to be back together with that person; it's just that when you're with someone for a long time, a little bit of them just becomes a part of you, and certain things that you experience in life just become associated with that person, even after their gone.

Here's an illustrantion. My buddy, who was engaged back in college, forever associates the smell of chlorine with his ex-fiance, since she swam competitively while they were dating in high school and college.

So, to review...

1) I'm a long term relationship guy.

2) It takes me a long time to get over a woman I was with for more than 2 years, even if the break up was mutual and necessary.

So, what happened to me, and how does this become a happy post??

I bumped into my last girlfriend (I don't want to call her my ex.. it's been a long time, and she's moved on, so it's not really like that) the other day, and normally, when something like this happens, if we talk on the phone or exchange emails or whatever, even though the conversation is totally amiable and we laugh and everything is sort of water under the bridge, (and even though I know our relationship needed to end when it did for both our sakes), I tend to dwell on it the rest of the day, and think about my issues and start questioning whether I'm a decent human being or not... blah blah.

But the other day, I was fine. It was totally okay, I didn't dwell on the meeting any more than being happy about knowing that all the wounds had healed.

I've definitely felt "over" (I hate using that word, though, it doesn't seem appropriate) my last relationship for a long time now, but it just felt good to have the waters get tested and come out feeling good about the whole thing.