Testing, Testing...

...is this thing on?

So, yeah, on a whim (and, um, "whim" is a terrible euphemism for "feeling the same sort of lonely I used to feel when I contributed to this blog more frequently") I typed in this URL and started getting nostalgic.

I got about three sentences into my last post, and I noticed something.

I used the phrase "brass tax."

I fail.

The proper phrase is "brass tacks."

The origin of "Getting down to brass tacks" is a little fuzzy, or so the idiom-gods at wikipedia say, but regardless, the phrase is NOT "brass tax."

Yes. I'm a spaz.


And oh yeah, I'm 30 now, and while I didn't think guys had biological clocks; I'm starting to get the feeling that I should start looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.

Um... I'm 6'2", not horribly ugly, smart, talented, funny, sensitive, creative, a good cook, a hopeless romantic, a pop- and geek-culture reference fun-factory, and I REALLY want to make someone very very happy for the rest of her (and my) life.

Interest in, or tolerance of, World of Warcraft a big plus. :)

Thanksgiving in June, The Next Jennie Finch, and How Trailer Trash is Unconsciously Supporting Gay Marraige

When you're a white guy who grew up in a town full of rich white people, and more importantly, when you're keenly aware that you're a white guy who grew up in a town full of rich white people, well, occasionally there's a bit of self-reflection that should go on.

(Strictly considering the situation in a "brass tax" sort of way, I should realize that I've hit the geographical lottery. The town where I grew up is in, say, the #5 richest county in the US based on per capita income.)

So what goes on in this aforementioned self-reflection? Well, besides hating myself and blaming my lack of focus/ambition for squandering both my fortunate upbringing and intelligence since I haven't yet become famous or rich... what really goes on is I have to center myself.

Aside: Now, I said "fortunate upbringing." I'm not saying I grew up rich, because I didn't. But then again, there's that centering thing. I don't think I was rich, because I knew kids that lived in neighborhoods with white fences, speed bumps, and security booths. I knew kids with live-in "help," (a.k.a. servants) tennis courts, and swimming pools. I wasn't friends with any kids that had "family chefs" or took the private jet to Chicago to see the Tyson fight... but they were there and I knew them; and they often had a last name that could be found on the NYSE somewhere. To those kids, the idea of doing household labor yourself was just silly. I've mowed too many lawns, shoveled too much snow, painted too many rooms, and lifted too many heavy objects to really see things how they saw things. BUT, I have to remind myself that I got a lot of things that other kids couldn't have, and I didn't have to get a job during high school to help my family cover expenses; I got a job because I wanted more stupid shit to play with.

And, well, I'm honestly glad that my parents didn't push me to "be all I could be." They made it clear that they were proud of me when I achieved something, (and disappointed when I slacked off,); they wanted to make sure that it was ME that wanted to strive for greatness.

That gets me to the first major point I want to make with this post.

I have a buddy, who had a girlfriend, who has a younger sister. The ex of my buddy is away at college most of the time, but the younger sister is a senior in high school. Now, it's a weird situation for sure, but the younger sister often hangs out with the same group as me and my friends. This group of friends that hangs out when she comes by is pretty diverse, so it's not like it's all me and my late 20something friends and this 18 year old; there are younger folks around, but she is the youngest.

So why am I talking about this girl? Well, because you might see her on ESPN someday. She plays softball (and basketball), and she's REALLY good. Besides all the crap like how she's always in the papers and she hits leadoff and plays center field for her High School which is like 30-2 or something silly like that, and how she's getting all these scholarship offers and accolades, there was one thing that really made me go, "wow."

A bunch of us were putzing around on a softball field last summer, and this girl was with us, and after we had all taken our hacks, she, well... she did... okay.. you remember this commercial?

Yeah, so, she did THAT. With a softball and a bat. And yes, she even smashed the bejesus out of it at the end.

Now, I have to be realistic for a second. It's also important to note that besides being exceptionally gifted athletically, she's also: 1) smart, 2) socially well adjusted, and 3) attractive. I hate to say it, but to be "big" in sports as a member of the softer sex, you have to be attractive. This isn't a sexist statement, this isn't verbal diarrea from a pig-headed schovanist; this is the reality of women's sports as they are right now. It sucks; but it's true. This is why I think she can really "make it."

The sports-watching public isn't ready to revere female athletes based soley on their athletic prowess. Does it help to be really really good? Yes, of course it does. Do you have to be the best to be the most famous or rich? No, no you don't.

This is why Anna Kournicova makes a LOT more money than all the players who are better than her. (and there are a lot of players better than her) This is why Maria Sharapova was vaulted to instant superstardom when players like Lindsay Davenport and Kim Clijsters, (who are attractive, but not supermodels-with-rackets) who have won more titles, are left behind.

This is why the US thought they could launch a women's soccer league after we fell in love with the photogenic World Cup team of Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, Julie Fowdy, etc; by putting one of them on each team to be the figureheads.

This is why the US Olympic Softball team got so much attention; not because they were great and won gold, but because of Jennie Finch, and the fact that she was cute and made a good story for the Olympics.

This is also why the WNBA carefully markets good looking players in traditional gender roles, and they downplay the fact that a significant portion of their players are lesbian, and an equally large portion of their fans are lesbian. (And you don't have to take my word for it, here's an article written by Sheryl Swoopes for ESPN.com)

Okay, anyways, off the soapbox for a second. So this girl is amazing, right? Well, now, in her senior year, when she's being picked for first-team all-everything, and getting scholarship offers out the wazoo, she's starting to realize, maybe she doesn't want to play anymore. I haven't talked to her one-on-one, but she's made it clear to some people that she's not enjoying it as much anymore, and everyone I've talked to are incredulous about how she could consider squandering her talent.

Well, maybe she just wants to be happy. And maybe she's not happy being her town's poster child for women's athletics anymore. When I see her next, I'm going to gently let her know that I think that whatever's getting to her, she should do what she knows deep down will make her happy. I think that everyone has an internal tacit knowledge of how much they really care about something. Only she knows if she'll regret it if she gives it up; only she knows if she can handle the attention and the pressure if she goes all out with it. She needs to ask herself what her dream is. If, when she closes her eyes, she sees herself playing softball and being happy, then she knows that she can make that happen and it's worth the hardship and pressures that come with it.

Now, somewhere in there I touched on the second major point I wanted to make. (And this gets back to the whole centering thing.) Being whitebread in richville, there isn't a whole lot of diversity, but there's plenty of education.

So, what this boils down to, is that there's a lot of acceptance, but there isn't all that much understanding.

I can easily accept anyone who's not like me. I don't care if you're gay, you have a skin color that's not like mine, or whatever.

But I'm not sure I can always understand. I've only had two friends that were gay, and one of them turned out to be, well, more than gay.

Aside: I think I touched on it once before in an earlier post, but this was the guy that ended up being caught in a police sting as a sexual predator going after young boys on the internet. All I can say is, when they say that they "never would've thought it was him, but after thinking about it, it kind of makes sense," well, they're right.

The other friend I've had that was gay, well, he's the only gay guy I've ever really felt I understood. The fact that he was gay was such an afterthought, and I could spend an entire evening hanging out with him and never once would the thought that he's gay cross my mind.

I use the term "understand" because I really think that's what it is. For me, at least, if I don't get how someone ticks, I have trouble making meaningful connections with them. With this guy; we first of all had other common ground (theater), and secondly, he was just so matter-of-fact about everything, him and all the things about him that were different from me just seemed so.. (and I hate to use this word) "normal."

I guess you could say that I just "got" him; and because of that, the mental obstacle had been cleared and I could easily move on with being his friend.

It's too bad that since my theater company imploded, we don't talk or see each other much anymore; I really think he made me a better person.

By the way, not to open another can of worms, but it's my opinion that there shouldn't even be a debate on gay marraige. I know that this is a statement with little thought behind it and 3rd Grade language; but the people standing against gay marraige are retards. Okay, now let me try and lend some intelligence to that.

I've heard the argument about the "sanctity of marraige" and the "institution of marraige" being changed or marred, and all I have to do in response to that is just point a few simple facts.

More people get divorced now than stay married. It just isn't regarded anymore as a "sacred" and "unbreakable" bond, like it was intended to be. All you have to do is take a visit to Vegas, or watch daytime TV. (And the Soaps and Talk Shows are just as good as the Judge Whosiwhatsit shows at illustrating this point..) How sacred does marraige look there?

Now, I know what some of the gay-marraige protesters might say; they think that those people are wrong too.

But let me hit them upside the head with this. Do they REALLY think that gay folks are going to treat marraige with as much, or more, distain than the trailer trash on daytime TV? And, furthermore, why weren't these protesters out of the woodwork, beating brows and thumping bibles BEFORE gay marraige was brought to the table?

Please. I'll take the over-under on gay couples respecting marraige more than straight couples as a whole anyday. Anyone who's willing to jump through the hoops and endure the scrutiny required to be married as a gay couple, isn't going to take that bond lightly.

There is only ONE argument that I feel has any credence in this arena, and it's the same argument that I have to concede for mixed-race couples as well; and that has to do with the kids. No one wants their children to have to endure suffering or get made of by their peers.

BUT, how else will things change? I'm more progressive than my parents, for sure, but I don't necessarily have them to thank for it. I have to thank braver people who DID endure that suffering in order to offer me and countless others the opportunity to choose the right path of acceptance over prejudice and fear. Did everyone choose the right path? Certainly not. But the people who are brave enough to show to the world some life choices that aren't the status quo, and how they aren't "different" after all, are the proverbial heroes of the war on prejudice. There should be an equivalent of a purple heart (the medal awarded to a soldier who is injured in battle) for those who put up with ignorance and prejudice; and furthermore, bring children into this world that represent progress in that struggle.

The "Training" version is for another post...

It's already been established that I'm an emotional sucker. Besides that which is SO cheesy that it's unintentionally funny, moving scenes in TV and movies drive me to lower lip tremblage pretty easily, especially for a heterosexual male, who are supposedly impervious to emotion unless it has to do with sports or one's favorite dog named Duke; and even then, we have to hide it. (Seriously, any guy who doesn't get misty-eyed at Rudy is probably a mandroid.)

Few of said moving scenes, um, move, me more than the musical montage. I'm not picky, I love them all, but I have to admit that The Shield produces some seriously kickass montages, and they're probably my favorite. (Though its sister show, Rescue Me, isn't too shabby either; and The Sopranos did it well before either of them. And then there's the reality show montage, and it's equally hard to beat the Survivor montage that they do every season when the final three are on their way to the last immunity challenge, when they walk a path lined with the torches of all the people that have been voted off before them.)

What really turns me on about musical montages is the ability to tell a story using only visuals, while letting the music take over the aural spectrum. It allows the actors to stretch their non-verbal communication skills; to let their emotions on their face and their body language replace their lines. It also forces the writers and the director to use visuals as exposition instead of lines for explanation. Having an actor find a photo in a box, or see something or someone from afar, is a much more powerful way of showing the audience a new piece of information than having someone say it. Shows do this all the time, but the montage forces many of these moments back-to-back. I dunno why, but everything just seems so much more powerful when only the music comes through.

Now, you might be wondering what real-life event inspired me to write this post. What show did I watch recently that had such a great musical montage?

Well, honestly... I didn't see a montage to inspire this. I heard a song.

I heard a song, and I immediately wanted a montage to go with it. This has happened a couple of times to me; this time it was INXS's "Afterglow."

(Cheesy? Yeah, maybe... but at least it wasn't as bad as the last song that did this to me... that silly DHT techno remake of Roxette's "Listen to your Heart." I kept wanting to see a montage of someone realizing how foolish they were for letting something get in between him and someone he loved; then turning around and frantically racing back to them to make things right.)

Unfortunately, that Google music video I linked to doesn't scratch the montage itch for me. And I wonder why? (And no, it wasn't because the model playing the afterglow-worthy love interest was a little too modely and Frenchy for me.)

I think I know. I think it's because I don't know anything about what's going on in the video. I think part of what makes a montage so great is the fact that you have all the artistry and powerful visuals of a music video, but you have context to go with it. You've been watching the show, so you know what's going through everyone's head as you see them in the montage; you know why they're crying, laughing, frustrated or angry, plotting for revenge or wallowing in their own self-hatred.

Now, I guess the question is, why do some songs do this to me when other, seemingly indistinguishable-in-quality songs, don't? For instance, why does the INXS song immediately make me want a powerful montage to go with it, while James Blunt's "You're Beautiful," which I also really like, doesn't?

I Heart Farscape, Part Two: How Giant Robots have nothing to do with Farscape.

Perhaps you remember The Transformers? While they're different than they were back in the 80s, they're still around... I guess giant robots that transform into cars and planes are almost as timeless in capturing childhood imaginations as Dinosaurs and Tonka trucks.

Aside: I know what you're thinking, and yes, there actually were Transformers that transformed into Dinosaurs; cleverly called, ahem, Dinobots. All the kiddies loved Grimlock, their lovable T-Rex leader who was mildly retarded, yet incredibly strong. There were also Transformers that turned into Construction Vehicles, called, also cleverly, the Constructicons. The dump truck one was called Long Haul. My favorite Transformer was Wheeljack, who, not surprisingly due to my geeky upbringing, was the "mad scientist" of the good guys, the Autobots.

Now, does that mean that I'm about to somehow say that Farscape is similar to a war between opposing factions of said giant robots, one unyieldingly benevolent, the other ruthlessly evil? No. No, I'm not.

What I am going to say, is that the tagline for the Transformers is: "More than Meets the Eye," and that statement embodies my second big reason for loving Farscape.

Through an endless string of role reversals, shocks, surprises, and general use of turning situations on their proverbial heads, Farscape is able to take ideas and concepts that would otherwise be tired or overused in TV and sci-fi, and put a new spin on them to make them very interesting.

Farscape will often let you have a glimpse at the "easy way out" that the writers could take to resolve a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, and sometimes it will even appear that they're going to take it... and then, at the last second, something really amazing happens; they break a traditional "rule" of TV series. (This is especially for a sci-fi series, since they come from the Star Trek pedigree, who are the kings of the "easy way out," where everything formulaically and automagically ends up back where it started.)

Aside: Yes, I said automagically. I feel the need to address my purposeful mispronounciation, lest I be struck down for being a hypocrite; since I can't STAND the rampant (and entirely unintentional) use of mispronounced words like, "expecially," "supposubly," and their fruity cousin, "liberry."

So, basically what it boils down to is that in any given Farscape episode, you never really know what's going to happen, or who you're meeting, when there's a sticky situation or a guest star. It could just be something that is featured in that episode... but probably not.

At the very least, unless that person is killed (and sometimes even then...), you're probably going to see them again sometime.

Other times, you don't even realize you just met the latest "regular" cast member; who will be in the next 20+ episodes.

Aside: I guess a little corollary to this whole spiel on Farscape's counterintuitive approach would be a nod to the idea of reincorporation. I'm planning a catch-all "all the little things" post to wrap up my Farscape love letters, and this will get full focus there, but I think a little nod here is prudent. Reincorporation, sort of like Crichton's pop culture references, serves as sort of an inside joke, a little shout-out to the fans. Besides major things like bringin back characters, it's also present in a lot of little things that usually aren't mentioned overtly, but if you're paying attention and you've been watching, you pick up on them. (Like the crew's collection of weapons and devices being made up of an identifiable hodge-podge of stuff they've picked up from previous episodes.)

Again, I'm trying to keep this spoiler-free, so all I'll say is that somewhere in Season 3, Farscape breaks one of the biggest rules in TV and Sci-Fi shows. It starts as a predictable gimmick that is somewhat typical for the sci-fi genre, and you keep thinking that everything's going to end up normal by the end of the episode; and it really looks like it will. But then, suddenly, it doesn't happen. And it doesn't in the next episode. Or the one after that.... and you slowly realize that they just totally changed the dynamic of the show on you. It's one of my favorite glowing box moments, something I wish I could see again for the first time.

Aside: I think the first 5 minutes or so of the South Park Movie (From "Mountain Town" through "Uncle F*cka") has to top that list. I'm not sure I ever laughed or smiled that hard for that long when I first saw that. I was doubled over in pain and laughter for most of it, it was such pure, immature, lowest-denominator humor.

I also mentioned "role reversals" in my list of things that Farscape does differently.

The biggest role reversal is probably the fact that despite Crichton being apparently cast in the strong, fit, leading guy type of role; when push comes to shove, for at least most of the show's duration, Crichton ranks third (or worse) among his allies when it comes to shoving ability.

Aside: Now, if you've watched typical sci-fi, fantasy, or other shows that will occasionally include action, the main protagonist is usually either a) badass to begin with, either by nature or training, or b) acquires some kind of special power or weapon that makes him badass. In either case, the "leading guy" is the one who dishes out the heavy damage when it's fightin' time.

Farscape is a refreshing change, where though Crichton does indeed turn out to be "special" in some way, (Actually in several ways, depending on the season. This is a gimmick, but it's non-negotiable; there really wouldn't be too much reason for serious drama if he was just some guy out there that no one cared about.) it has nothing to do with his ability to fight or keep himself alive, and his two closest allies are much better at fighting than he is.

The other really big role reversal has to do with one of those allies; and it's going to have to wait for the next post.

Here's a teaser. One of the crew members on the show that fights better than Crichton is also the main love interest. Despite all the press photos of Farscape showing Claudia Black's character, Aeryn Sun, as a sexy babe snuggled up next to Crichton, the truth of the matter is that Aeryn wouldn't be caught dead playing subservient arm-hanger to Crichton. She's a soldier, and love, especially the expression of love, is just as alien to her as Crichton is, despite Sebaceans (Aeryn's alien race) looking identical to Humans.

Stand by for another thrashing of my favorite deceased equine target, Shakespearean Shrew-Taming.

I Heart Farscape, Part One: Big Trouble in Little Crichton

Well, I've been mulling over a Farscape post for some time now, and I've decided that unless I provide an in-flight meal and Stadium Pals to everyone, I certainly can't expect anyone to sit through all my endless gushing.

Really though, I'm going to make a concerted effort to keep my commentary to WHY I love the show so much, instead of just prompting people to ask me why I haven't yet made a proposal of matrimony to the show. (Because you can't marry a show, it's illegal silly...)

Aside: By the way, I can't believe Stadium Pals even exist. Only in America are there people so lazy that they'll voluntarily wear something that will allow them to pee themselves so they don't have to get up. And don't worry ladies; they make one for you too. Gross. I must say though, they do have the best tagline ever: "When you gotta go, but you wanna stay."

As Kenny Banya of Seinfeld fame would say: "It's Gold, Jerry! Gold!"

So, I've decided to divy up my love for Farscape into several posts. Otherwise, I'll never do it, and/or you'll never read it.

I've also made an oath to keep these musings as spoiler-free as possible. While I would like to get specific in order to most accurately convey my feelings, I'll try and hold my tongue with hopes that someone watching this falls in love with Farscape as I did.

Which, by the way, is the only way I can possibly justify these posts as not being COMPLETELY self-indulgent. Yeah, ya see? Yeah, I'm trying to bring good TV to others, see? Lay off me, Copper.... :)

And, begin...

Please be aware that my "reasons for loving Farscape" are not in any priority order; it's just whatever I think of and want to write about at the time.

So, I can sum up Reason #1 simply by stating the title of the 3-part Finale of Season 4:

"We're So Screwed."

The crew on Farscape is never really sure about what they're doing, they're always in really big trouble, running from someone or something that's a lot bigger and stronger than they are, and barely getting away.

(By the way, Farscape is big fans of crazy 3-parters. Every season ends with one, and there are additional multi-part episodes peppered throughout each season. While there are certainly episodes that some deviate from the series' "main plot," pretty much every episode has some impact on the story and is revisited in some way later on; and some of those "tangent" episodes actually end up becoming much more important than you might think; but that's another post. :D)

This feeling of "being lost" is a constant touchstone in the series; both literal and figurative.

The lead role, John Crichton, played by Ben Browder, is a galactic fish-out-of-water. He's the only human around and he's REALLY far from home; despite some aliens looking very human, (okay.. they couldn't put EVERYONE in a wacky suit; but you'll be glad to know that only one perennial "regular" of the crew, besides Crichton, looks totally human) and, silly as it sounds, that adds to the empathic bond you start to feel for him.

He's a bright guy, but almost everyone and everything he encounters is technologically superior to him, so he has to brazenly jury-rig and wing it with just about everything he does; the result is a very amusing mix of MacGuyver and Han Solo; with some pop-culture references thrown in for good measure.

(I'm sure this will part of an "all the little things" post at some point, but hearing Crichton quote some commercial or something, and it kind of gets lost in translation with the aliens to the point where only we, the viewer, "get it," is pretty neat in an inside joke kind of way.)

The Han Solo reference is not a coincidence. I've already declared my love for the original Star Wars Trilogy; and the "We're So Screwed" phenomenon, at least vis a vis the sci-fi genre, might have originated with Lucas's Harrison Ford movies, both Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

Harrison Ford is just SO good at simultaneously conveying the danger and absurdity of being in REALLY big trouble. Ben Browder must've studied Ford, because he's got it down, and Crichton gets in a LOT more trouble than Han and Indy put together.

Consider the scene from Star Wars when the Millenium Falcon gets brought aboard the Death Star and the small band rescues Princess Leia. They employ some pretty silly strategy, mock up Chewbacca as a prisoner, and head down to the Detention block. When they arrive, they're facing the wrong way in the elevator, and everything goes bad after that... after the firefight, Han tries to cover it up:

HAN: (trying to sound official) Everything is under control. Situation normal.

INTERCOM VOICE: What happened?

HAN: (getting nervous) Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you? - CLASSIC!

INTERCOM VOICE: We're sending a squad up.

HAN: Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here... now give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak...very dangerous.

INTERCOM VOICE: Who is this? What's your operating number?

(Han blasts the comlink and it explodes.)

HAN: Boring conversation anyway... (yelling down the hall) Luke! We're going to have company!

That exchange, is of course, followed by them getting completely trapped in the Detention Block, and the Princess has to save their asses by blasting a hole in a grate and telling them all to jump into the garbage chute; where they all almost die again.

Another perfect example of the phenomenon is in Return of the Jedi, when ANOTHER rescue attempt gets completely botched; this time when they try to save Han from Jabba's palace. After they get discovered and captured, they bring everyone in front of Jabba for his decree; Han can't see (hibernation sickness from being frozen in carbonite) but he hears Luke's voice and asks,

HAN: "How we doin'?"

LUKE: "Same as always.."

HAN: "That bad, huh?"

Those Star Wars moments are completely reminiscent of what the Farscape crew faces nearly every episode.

Despite the obvious reasons of enjoying this for the "omygod, look what just happened to them.. well, what the hell are they going to do NOW?" factor, I think I like the "We're So Screwed" phenomenon so much because it's so different from other sci-fi TV series, like Star Trek.

The Enterprise is the Federations's flagship; the most powerful ship in the armada of a powerful faction in the known Universe. And even though they still get screwed over and almost blown up nearly every episode, they have all manner of photon torpedoes, force shields, and deflector dishes to do pretty much anything with.

Moya (The ship in Farscape) is a living beast of burden, with no weapons, and her crew are escaped prisoners being pursued by the armada of a powerful faction of the known Universe.

(Don't worry, that's all first episode exposition stuff.)

So, to sum up WHY the "We're so Screwed" phenomenon is so appealing to me, I guess I'd have to say that, on an unconscious level, I really respect the writers of the show for apparently painting themselves into a corner so many times, only to surprise you with how they get out of it; or sometimes, shock you by having them NOT get out of it.

Willing Warriors; Tantalizing TV or Anachronistic Anti-Humans?

Of the dichotomous populace of TV watchers, I belong to the half that (generally) likes reality TV. Why? Well, I enjoy experiencing real emotion from real people... from my real couch.

One of my surprise favorite reality shows from last year was The Deadliest Catch.

In a nutshell, the show follows a handful of Alaskan crab fishermen as they risk life and limb to make a LOT of money in a short amount of time, catching crab by using very heavy and dangerous equipment on rocky boats navigating through rough seas full of water so cold that if you aren't wearing a survival suit, (which is so beefy it makes you look like a 4 year old on a snow day; so they can't work in them) and you aren't rescued within a couple of minutes, you're dead.

And oh yeah, they use Bon Jovi music and the whole thing is narrated by the guy from Dirty Jobs who has that awesome voice.

The new season of TDC premiered last night; and despite what I had heard at the end of the previous season about a major change in the format, I was brimming with anticipation.

I'm witholding final judgment for now, but initial signs aren't good.

Why? Well, as I made allusions to, there's a major change in the format... and in the process of considering that, I really have to question my thoughts about TV vis a vis my moral compass. You see, there's a bit of The Running Man appeal in TDC.

Aside: The Running Man, a story by Stephen King, and later a movie starring our favorite Californian Governator, is a game show set in the future that shows a potential culmination to the Reality TV phenomenon; where contestants fight to the death for the amusement of the mob. It's the Gladiators of Rome all over again. This idea has seen many incarnations; in videogames and movies. Sometimes the "gladiators" are prisoners being forced to fight, sometimes it's voluntary and you can win lots of money and prizes, etc.

(SmashTV is one of my favorite games of all time; I'm always a big fan of breakneck-paced action, fighting to survive against endless hordes of mindless enemies.)

So, how does this apply to TDC?

Well, deep sea fishing in freezing waters requires strategy, luck, physical and mental toughness, and it is VERY dangerous.

And the money is very real. The deck hands usually make around $30,000-$40,000, and on up the ladder to the captains, who often make 6 figures. And that's for ONE TRIP; less than a week!! With several crab "seasons" a year; it's a very lucrative business.

Finally, getting to the reason why my moral compass is put into question; the danger and death is very real too. LOTS of things can go wrong out there, 50+ miles from shore, and a lot of them lead to you being dead. If you watched the first season, you saw what I'm talking about. They earn their money.

Now, I know I don't like people dying; I get no pleasure out of that... but I'm questioning myself now... do I like this show because people might die?? I have to admit, the danger and urgency is a necessary catalyst for the subsequent bravery and comraderie displayed on the show to come through; and that's a lot of what makes it appealing.

And this brings me to my point.

Up until this past season, crab fishing in Alaska has been "derby style" fishing.

What this means is, the US Department of Fish and Game decides exactly when the 'season' on a certain crab starts, and how many crab (and of what size) can be caught for this season. Every boat must report all that they catch in real time; so that when the quota is close to being reached, the Fish & Game people put a firm deadline announcement out to end the 'season,' and no crab can be caught after that. There are tamper-proof cameras on each boat that track and record what they catch and when, so no one can cheat.

What does this mean? Well, it means that if you're a crab fisherman, and you're getting paid $7-10 a pound for crab, you want to catch as much crab as possible, as quickly as possible, so that when the horn sounds ending the end of the season, your contribution to the quota will be bigger than anyone else's, and therefore, you can sell more than anyone else. And because no one really knows exactly where the large nomadic biomasses of crab are; that means from the moment the 'season' opens, you're working as much as you possibly can, and that means sleeping the least you possibly can.

And as any cold/flu medication bottle will tell you; you should NOT be operating heavy machinery when drowsy. How about when you've had about 6 hours of sleep over 3 days, and you're on a boat in the Bering Sea with rocky waves crashing over the boat; there are 40mph winds with sleet, and you need to navigate 800lb steel crab traps with a giant hydraulic crane on a slippery deck dotted with deck hands trying to do all manner of baiting, pulling, sorting, etc.

The result of this, in spite (because?) of the danger and the fact that people do get hurt and occasionally die, is some very good television. Depression and elation come and go just like the waves. When a boat has been unlucky, the season is half over, and they all of a sudden hit massive amounts of crab; it's really good stuff.

Or should I say... was good stuff.

Like I said before... the derby fishing was "up until last season." The Department of Fish and Game decided to do away with that style; and is enforcing a system where each boat is only allowed to catch "their share" of the season's quota for that crab; and of course that's all they can sell. The urgency, the volatility, the powerful emotion swings... gone.

This system is much safer; no more sleep deprivation, no more risks, no more back-breaking work at a breakneck pace. Everyone catches what they're allowed to catch, no more.

It's still dangerous to fish for crab; that's for sure... but it's a lot less exciting now.

Now, before you take a look at that comment and start questioning my aforementioned morality; consider this.

EVERY Captain of the crab boats they talked to was upset that Fish & Game was doing this. As dangerous as it was, they ALL lived for the rush of the derby style fishing. It meant that depending on your strategy, effort, and luck; you could strike it rich, or barely cover your costs.

It was a gamble; their very lives and livelihood were on the line as they depended on each other and the hand of cards that the seas dealt them; and they loved it.

In the opener to this season, all the captains featured in the show are at a bar talking about the season, and they raise their glasses in a surly and sarcastic toast to Fish & Game.

If these men WANT to do it; if they want the risk; if they want the competition; if they want capitalism over communism... why should the government get in the way??

They know the risks better than anyone, and they choose to do it regardless. Not everyone has that pioneer spirit in them that almost needs the danger and risk, and while, in general, humans don't need that anymore... I don't think it should be discouraged. That spirit was what carved out a chunk of our land; and that shouldn't be forgotten and abandoned.

Now, am I saying this because I believe it, or because I want the show to "matter" again?

I'm not sure, definitely some of both.

But considering that it's so dangerous, I start to think about some of the other shows I like to watch where there's a lot of danger.

For example, I really like MMA, or Mixed Martial Arts; and this is just about as gladiator as you can get. I first fell in love with MMA when The Ultimate Fighting Championship was born back in 1993. They got together all sorts of expert martial artists to see who would win in a tournament with VERY few rules. (no biting, no eye-gouging) It was barbaric, sure, but it was riveting, and slowly but surely, some insights to some really long unanswered questions, like which martial art is the best in a real fight against someone who knows how to fight?

The sport evolved and eventually tried to become legitimate. (With a lot of success; UFC events are finally now on regular cable instead of pay-per-view; thanks to the SpikeTV reality show, The Ultimate Fighter) Now, there are a LOT of rules in the UFC to protect fighters, and it's become clear as to which styles "work." While the whole "Kumite" appeal is pretty much gone now, the spectacle has evolved into a sport.

Now, that sport is dangerous, obviously, and people DEFINITELY get hurt. But it's very unlikely that someone's going to die in UFC, and again, all of these guys WANT to do this.

Shouldn't people be allowed to do these things if they want to? And, well, shouldn't people like me be able to watch and be entranced and maybe a little envious of their ability to throw caution to the wind?

Well, since it's been over a year...

I guess I should start sprucing up the place.

I threw a couple links on the sidebar there, and I'm going to get my grubby mitts on a digital camera so you all can see my ugly mug.

And despite the fact that I get paid for my Graphic Design skills; I sadly am not "joe html" so unless I break out Dreamweaver or Pagemaker; I'm going to have to teach myself how to make this place look nicer.